Of blog hits and looking cleverer than you actually are

Today my blog reached a thousand hits. Which in my honest view is something to be proud of. Before I get accused of tooting my own horn, there are a few things I’d like to say. Firstly, I am supremely convinced that I write very drab, boring  stuff. Once I start to write I just cannot stop. You know, that time when you have a particular idea in your head and the thought just flows. I’m not saying I’m the most creative of people. In fact I know I’m not. There are times when I get a stonking mental block nothing actually moves. You know the saying that all men only think about women and sports and nothing else? For me, that’s called The Block. Your thoughts keep going on round and round and doesn’t translate into anything useful at all. When that happens (which thank God is not often) I know I’m screwed.

Back to the one thousand hits. I achieved it within a period of 3, almost 4 months. Not bad for somebody who writes total nonsense at times. If you enjoy reading the stuff I write about, good for you. I’m under no illusions that a thousand hits doesn’t ever mean that a thousand people read what I write. It simply means the site has been accessed one thousand times. For all you know, only 3 people ever access this blog. For a thousand times. Those guys would be on the brink of obsession, wouldn’t they? I read somewhere that Tun Dr. Mahathir’s blog got a million hits after about 2 months or so. Must be something of a record. Just imagine writing something (although he hardly writes nonsense, unlike me) and people are literally on tenterhooks waiting for what’s coming up next. Must be a nice feeling.

The other thing is, all this excitement about a thousand hits again just emphasises the vanity bit isn’t it? Everybody likes to have an audience (or is it just me?). An audience who listens (or in the case of a blog, reads) to your every word. Some people may get inspired, some may just think it’s a load of crap. The desire to start blogging started as a measure of escapism. After work, I go home and I’m alone. There’s only so much you can do when you’re alone. And believe me, I’ve done most of them. So to beat the boredom, I started to write. And now, after some 40-plus entries, I’m still writing. I hope I can maintain the momentum. I’d like to one day be able to show my children the stuff I write about. So they’ll be able to know their dad better. People say your writing defines who you really are. In my case, I think so too. It underlines the bland, uninteresting and complicated person that I am. A person who thinks he is a simple man but in fact is a complicated dude. Anyway, if you’ve enjoyed my writing so far, keep going. There’s more where that came from.

Next week I’ll be meeting my new boss. It’s definitely a new experience. When you’re meeting a new superior, the thing you think most about is how to make a good first impression. You dress well, you try to talk well, be prepared and present yourself to the best of your ability. As is always when you meet someone new, there will inevitably be a period of sizing each other up. Analysing each other’s strength and weaknesses. Exploring the extent of one’s mental fortitude. To me, in a workplace it’s always a battle of character. If you can get along fine, that’s OK. But if you can’t, trouble usually ensues. But as a subordinate, you will inevitably get the short end of the stick. Which I hope doesn’t happen to me.

I learnt and memorised one important line I heard Q say in Die Another Day (if I’m not mistaken). It goes like this:-

“It’s better to be cleverer than you look than looking cleverer than you really are“.

I’ve held on to this saying like Gollum holds on to the ring. Because of that I’ve also doubted myself on more than one occasion. Do I present myself as being a clever person? And if I do, did I live up to expectations resulting from me presenting myself that way? Doubt is not a good thing I tell you. Literally throws you off your game.

Here’s the thing – I hope my new superior comes in with an open mind. He would probably have heard some stories. There’s nothing worse than being prejudicial. Which I don’t think would be a problem. I guess having some luck would be good. Sometimes the line between getting along and being at loggerheads is very fine. Personality clashes is a big no-no. Well, I hope everything turns out fine and dandy, InsyaAllah.