Read a piece in The Edge about two weeks ago. It was on the aspects which should be considered, human resource wise by companies thinking about venturing into South East Asia. So this HR consultant was tasked to study the focus of employers in SEA in relation to employees. I can’t really comment on the findings of the consultant in other countries, but I can relate to their discovery for Malaysia. As is always, the study may not the conclusive as there’s the thing about sample size, false positives/negatives etc. That having said I think the result is rather representative of the situation here in Malaysia.
The results are displayed below. I included the findings for Singapore and Indonesia just for completeness sake.
“Their answers confirmed suspicions as each geographic group chose to focus resources on a different set of personnel:
Singaporeans: “…our most talented employees as they will bring us the farthest the fastest.”
Malaysians: “…the mid-level performers to better tap the unrealised potential of this large and important cohort.”
Indonesians: “…the lowest performing members of our organisation or they will create drag on the organisation’s growth prospects.”
Malaysia engages in a constant balancing act across its three-race culture. Each group has distinct preferences.”
Look at the observation made in relation to Malaysian employers. It appears we focus our resources more towards employees in the middle level of an organisation. Middle level here doesn’t mean rank-wise, but performance-wise. Is this observation generally true? I think yes and no. Performers in the top percentile are usually neglected to a point that they get poached by other companies. During my time at a multinational, I hear people groaning everyday about not getting recognised for good work quality. To be fair, you cannot expect kudos every single time you do well.
But in a situation where they’ve consistently exceeded expectations and performed beyond expectation I believe at least some appreciation is due. And not only a pat in the back mind you. People now expect a good raise in remuneration and other perks and privileges. Within reason of course.
For the lower level performers, I find that not enough is done to raise their level of performance. Most of the measures introduced are punitive in nature. I know performance is nowadays measured by KPIs, but there could be a reason why people do not meet the specified KPI. By being punitive I mean low bonuses, increment etc. but at the same time causes of a downward slide in performance go unaddressed. Sometimes there are reasons other than laziness and/or disciplinary and/or attitude. There could be no encouragement, an unreasonable superior, a superior who doesn’t coach and the list goes on. It’s a bit like calling Muslims terrorists but not bothering to find out why.
Now, what about mid-level performers? I think largely they share the same fate with the guys in the top percentile, the situation of which was deliberated above. I believe these people are seen as making up the numbers, people who are by and large contented with just coming to work everyday and doing what is expected of them without being exceptional and at the same time not falling into the non-performer category. I agree that this is the group that needs to be provided with encouragement and proper coaching. With a bit of effort and luck, a few could be upgraded to be part of the top percentile. But it is a chicken and egg situation isn’t it? Once they move to the top percentile, they’ll very easily get too big for their own shoes and would probably (note “probably”) demand for something which may not be provided by their current organisation. That happens and the time to go would come rather instantly.
I don’t like to write about matters of a political connotation. The only time I did so was to comment on the massive jam a few months ago because of roadblocks resulting from the “Bersih” gathering. It’s time for another minor piece. This morning I read a few hilarious bits on this thing concerning a very public figure recently dragged through the mud due to some things done by her family. Let me share just one:
“Anything related to her husband and their children has nothing to do with her leadership…”
You know I will not write about things like this if I don’t feel strongly about it. Well, it’s all about accountability isn’t it? I could go on and on about it, but the less said the better. With that, I bid you adieu.
Went to a farewell dinner tonight. Two nice chaps from the company are leaving for better pastures. Well, at least one is. The other one is retiring. Well, probably that’s a better pasture too. You get to spend more time with your grandchildren, do some gardening and other stuff. Until you get tired of it and get the hankering to work again that is.
This post is not about retirement. Which is exactly what I’ll be doing in about 17 years’ time. This post is about appreciation. During the dinner, praises of the guys who are leaving were sung. You know, things like, “this guy spent 15 years in the company, the department went from also-rans to super brilliant during his leadership”, things like that. Which is all well and good. But that makes me wonder. Do people sing your praises while you are still in the company? Do people say the above things about you while you are still around? Probably not.
I’m a cynic. That goes without saying. I’ll look at something and see the bad side before the good (with a few exceptions of course). So the cynic in me comes up with all these permutations about why the praises are being sung. Are people just being nice? Maybe. “Well, give him chance lah. Anyway, we won’t be seeing him anymore after this isn’t it? So let’s just humour the guy.”
Don’t get me wrong though. The two guys tonight were good guys. The kind of people who really contributed to the company’s growth and well-being. The type of guys who are well received by almost everybody.
I have another question. At which juncture are you entitled to a farewell dinner? In football, your club will give you a testimonial match once you reach the 10-year mark. They’ll organise a game with another club, the proceeds of which you get to keep. What of the farewell dinner then? I have a theory. Firstly, you’ll qualify if you’ve served the company for a very long time. A minimum of 7 years, probably. Secondly, the tenure of your eligibility for a farewell dinner a greatly reduced the higher you rank in the company. A CEO gets a farewell dinner even if he/she serves a company for a year. A clerical staff would probably just be treated to a farewell function by his/her own department, no matter how long he/she serves the company. I don’t know how you feel about it, but that’s how I see it.
I think the same goes for your farewell gift too. The longer you serve and the higher you rank in the company, the better and more expensive your farewell gift gets.
Well, it’s time to sleep.
During my days in practice, I handle quite a few litigation matters for a well known publishing house. The company owns a string of newspapers and is in the group that also operates a few television stations (that should be sufficient hint). This client has many defamation cases. For those of you who are uninitiated, defamation by definition is words uttered or published which are derogatory to an individual or a person (which includes companies and other persons). Their policy has always been publish first, ask questions later. As such, defamation actions were aplenty. Anyway, this post is not about that. The General Counsel of this client once told me not to encourage my children to take up law as a career and to get them to go into accounting instead. As a lawyer, I was bewildered. I’d definitely like at least one of my children to become a lawyer.
I queried him as to the rationale behind this believe of his. Matter of factly, he said,”lawyers never get to be CEOs. Only accountants do.” That set me thinking. I was quite a junior lawyer then. Naturally it affected the way I think about and see things. It’s true, most companies have accountants as CEOs. But on closer inspection and some research, this fact cannot be said as being true anymore.
Let me provide you with a few examples:
Kenneth I. Chenault (American Express), Richard D. Parsons (Time Warner), Charles O. Prince III (Citigroup), Sumner M. Redstone (Viacom), and Franklin D. Raines (Fannie Mae). According to headhunting firm SpencerStuart, 10.8% of the CEOs of companies in the Standard & Poor’s 500-stock index have law degrees. (Source: http://www.businessweek.com)
Not a bad number and most importantly, not a bad roster of companies. All mammoths in their own right. The Standard & Poor’s 500 stock index consists of large-capital American companies covering about 75 per cent of the American equity market by capitalisation. As the statement above implies, 54 of those large-capital companies at least have somebody who is legally trained as their CEO. Looking at it from that perspective, it appears that the market has moved towards recognising the skills inherently possessed by lawyers. OK. There is recognition. But are lawyers any good as CEOs?
From another source (blogs.wsj.com), Alan Murray propounded 3 schools of thought covering the general perception of the matter. And it’s a rather simple way of looking at it. Mr. Murray, in answering the question said:
Yes: “Lawyers are trained to foresee risk, making them well-suited for times of trouble. Perhaps more important, they understand what it means to be a fiduciary, acting in trust on someone else’s behalf. Nardelli and McKinnell (Pfizer’s former CEO) clearly failed to grasp that basic tenet of public-company leadership.”
McKinnell resigned from Pfizer due to falling share prices and a drop in investor confidence. I really cannot argue with Mr. Murray’s statement above. Lawyers generally are trained to be aware of what’s ahead and usually are very much of the “safety first” persuasion. A solicitor holds a duty of care towards clients and are adept at acting in trust of a person or organisation. Well educated and ethical, a lawyer would be loathe to turn his or her back on the trust placed. Mr. Murray’s counter argument to the above is as follows:
No: “Some see this trend (appointing legally-trained personnel as CEOs) as one more cause for concern about the direction of the business world in the post-Enron era. ‘It’s a sign of the times,’ says Philip Howard, a [Covington & Burling] lawyer himself and a relentless crusader for legal overhaul. “We’re more concerned with legal compliance than with getting the job done. If you have an economy where people circle the wagons and try and prevent anything bad from happening, the economy will suffer.”
With all due respect to Mr. Murray and Mr. Philip Howard, we lawyers are not preoccupied with legal compliance to the extent we don’t get things done. Far from it. Of course there is an obvious tendency for lawyers to dot every i and cross every t, but again we do get things done, you know. Especially when you are in the corporate sector, as I am. Among my favourite line is people will give you something to do today and inevitably they’ll want it to be done yesterday. Which translates into getting assignments done quickly but with a high degree of accuracy and of course, legal compliance. Makes me wonder the credentials of Mr. Philip Howard if I’m being perfectly honest.
And the third argument is:
It Doesn’t Matter: A Home Depot spokesman told Murray there’s a difference “between having a law degree and being a lawyer. Basically, since 1998, Frank’s been out of the lawyer mode.” And Prince believes his legal training is irrelevant. As long as he remains focused on the goal of expanding Citigroup, he says, “whether you are a lawyer or a plumber — it doesn’t make a difference.”
I’m inclined to agree with this one, but with a slight leaning towards the “yes” contention above. Of course it doesn’t matter if your CEO is a lawyer or not. A friend of my mine once told me that a past CEO of a Citibank Malaysia graduated with a degree in Horticulture. Well, I remember Citibank Malaysia being the all-conquering force in the local credit card market then (maybe it still is).
At the risk of this entry becoming a full blown project paper or thesis and tooting my own horn at the same time, I do believe that in the end lawyers possess the ability to view issues from a bird’s eye view and thus being able to make better judgment calls. And when you continually provide advice to your clients, putting your neck on the line becomes second nature. As such accepting and exercising responsibility is not alien to a lawyer. I’ve heard this argument that accountants are very fond of conducting the “kitchen sinking” exercise when brought in to revive an ailing organisation. Would a lawyer do the same? I doubt so. To me the end game is anybody who helms an organisation doesn’t have a choice but to be a big picture guy. A guy who can formulate strategies and carry them through and carry an organisation through good and bad times. In this respect, a lawyer is as good as anybody else.
Interested in my CV anybody?
Today is the 30th day this blog not being updated. Couldn’t let it extend beyond that, could I? As with other things, when you are trying to re-start something, you’d need to go slow at first and pick up your pace as you go along. Take this as an attempt at re-starting to write (there have been numerous attempts). I think I know why the people at WordPress introduce new themes, constantly upgrade the features of their website etc. It’s to discourage people like me from giving up writing altogether. On the other hand, this blog is not one that gets 200+ page views a day. In fact it doesn’t even remotely come close to that. So really, there’s no interest on WordPress’ behalf to encourage me. So I think I’m like making up the numbers, bringing up the rear if you like. And that’s fine with me.
There’s this particular topic that I’ve been hankering to write about. Although I never find the time to do so (convenient excuse). It’s about support for a particular sports team. Like any other ordinary guy, I love football (or soccer depending on where you are and your proclivities). Since I was a boy, I have always supported Selangor. Being born in Selangor, it was a natural thing to do. They were the powerhouse back then. When I was in VI, the Malaysian league was a semi-professional one with teams allowed to register a few import players i.e. those who hail from overseas. Selangor had a few and all the import players were employed by Public Bank. Back in VI, I remember watching the players train on the VI Greens (that’s what we call the school field). There were Karel Stromsik, Mehmet Durakovic and others. All good, if not great players. And Selangor swept everything before them then.
Watching games at the stadia became a necessity. I watched whenever I could. Being in the VI Hostel, we were quite well acquainted with a guy who was a FAM referee back then. So we got free tickets to watch games all the time. Those were passionate times.We watched the Malaysia Cup semifinal game between Selangor and Brunei at the Shah Alam Stadium. The stadium could fit like 80,000 people. We sat at one of the highest terraces. The players looked so tiny. Not forgetting the time when Manchester United came to Malaysia during their Asian tour and played against a Selangor Select team.
Which brings me nicely to my support for Manchester United. I’ve been supporting them since I was in Standard 3. Which was in 1983 when Liverpool was the team of the decade then. As such, a glory hunter I most definitely am not. Those were the days of Pat Jennings, Mike Duxbury and others. I am still supporting United now. I was fortunate to be supporting them during the glory days of English League domination and their European Cup triumphs. I hope the glory days are not over though. What with the emergence of Manchester City and their billions. For City, football has become a Football Manager simulation game somewhat. Buy players, pay them the sky and get them playing. I hate to admit it, but City winning the league this year looks increasingly possible.
OK, enough of that. What I wanted to say is the level of support some people accord to the football team they support. Let me ask you this. If United win the league this year, do I gain anything for supporting them? Will I get paid a cent from their 150 or so million pounds sterling they made this year? The answer is a resounding no. So the question is what’s the point of supporting them then? I’m sure as do myself, others would have their own reasons for supporting a particular team. Having said that, let’s not take the support to the point of overkill shall we?
This is amply illustrated in Facebook. I see people un-friending somebody just because there were some harmless banter about the other person’s football team. Come on, is it that severe? Burning friendship bridges just because of some banter? You know, comments like “Suarez should learn to respect other people” or something like that. That sort of comment, for me falls into the realm of harmlessness. I don’t even bat an eyelid when people tell me about United’s defeat against City the other day. Of course the team should have played better but seriously? And to me the joke is people calling them diehard supporters for knowing this and that about their team and the personnel. Oh, Bill Shankly once said this, Alex Ferguson’s horse is named Meredith, things like that. Is there anything to be gained at all? Well maybe I’m ignorant.
One more thing, I get a bit irritated when people talk like they belong to the particular team. Saying things like “I think we can win the game tonight.”, “I think we should go out and buy this player and that player.” Notice the word “we” in the above remarks? What “we“? I never use the word “we” and I don’t think anybody else should. Unless you’re a shareholder of that particular club. Sounds like I’m being awfully trivial isn’t it? Maybe I am.
To be perfectly honest, I don’t think I’ve made my point actually. There are many other illustrations, but I’m just tired. And I’ve got to sleep now. Tomorrow’s a workday.
I am away from the office this whole week. No, I’m not on leave. I’m somewhere attending negotiations with some of my colleagues on behalf of the company the details of which I cannot divulge. That is amongst the essence of my work; keeping the company’s secrets. The negotiations are of utmost importance to the company and the burden thrust on the negotiation team is a heavy one. The thing that makes it even heavier is I simply cannot bear to open my eyes this morning.
Last night I had about only one and a half-hours of sleep. I experienced a recurrence of something which happened to me a few months ago. The last time, two men attempted to enter my house’s premises and in my view, tried to break in. I even wrote about it. This time, after going to sleep at about 12.30 a.m., I was awaken at 2 a.m. to the sound of a fracas on my house’s ceiling. It sounded like somebody was walking, probably running on the roof trusses. Which scared me to no end. I got up in a flash and listened to the sound which showed no signs of abating. I immediately went outside the house and called the nearby police station. I was given the answer, “nanti kita hantar anggota” and that satisfied me. I stayed outdoors, still shaking with fear.
Twenty minutes on, still no sign of the police. The “anggota” did not show up. At least not yet. Luckily the security guys (to whom I pay RM40 per month) came over. Why I didn’t call them in the first place beats me. I told them what happened and brought them upstairs to check the situation out. Upon further inspection of the ceiling, they couldn’t find anybody lurking/hiding which was a big relief. According to the security guys, the intruder may be trying to get away from somewhere else or getting ready to burgle my house. But the question I had was, if the intruder had the intention of doing any of the aforementioned, why would he/she be making such a ruckus? To this, the security guys had no answer. Mind you, all the inspection took about 15 minutes by the end of which the “anggota” was still nowhere to be found.
Hate to say this, but no wonder Johor’s crime rate is on the up and up. Let’s give them the benefit of the doubt shall we? Probably they don’t have enough “anggota” to go round. Probably. Finally the policeman made his appearance, a full 45 minutes after the call was made, looking all concerned but evidently unable to do anything meaningful. Thank God for the security guys. They said their goodbyes at 3 a.m. and I was suddenly left all alone. I was determined to sleep as I have to be in the office by 6 a.m. to settle some work before leaving for the negotiations venue at 7 a.m. As is always with things like this, any attempt to sleep will be in vain.
After trying (and failing miserably) to sleep, I decided to get up (note: not wake up) at 4.30 a.m. and get ready to go to the office. I arrived at 5 a.m. which must be some sort of a record. Did what I had to do and left for the negotiations venue at 7 a.m. It’s a 125 kilometres drive. Which is in any case not advisable what more when you did not get enough sleep the night before. So now I’m labouring along, just waiting for the session to end (it has not started, mind you) when I could retire to my room (my entitlement means I get a room to myself) and crash. I’m seriously thinking of looking for a new place to stay now. A place which is less of a security hazard. Probably an apartment. The thing is I got this semi-detached unit on the cheap and it’s fully furnished. But I have to stop cheap skating and look for a new place. For real.
Oh, and a final word. The police have got to seriously improve their response time.
If only real thieves/burglars look this funny. *Image credit to Google.
Recently, I received a comment from a person about a remark which was made about me. Don’t really know the actual way the remark was made, it inferred that I let the boy in me out in the open rather more regularly than necessary. Or something like that. I also don’t know the context in which the remark was made. As such my response here couldn’t be interpreted as more than speculation at the very best except for my management leadership/management philosophy which is the second subject of this entry.
Frankly I am quite happy that the observation was made. Firstly, it showed that people are observing me. Secondly, letting the boy in you out could be a good thing. Sorry, it’s definitely a good thing in my view. Let me tell you something. I almost never look at anything seriously. I find that my creativity is curtailed if I approach anything too seriously. I consider the facts and issues in a lighter way, a way which would stimulate my mind into finding solutions. I don’t go around laughing, cracking jokes and making fun of everything. In fact, I take my work bloody seriously but not in a serious manner (if that means anything).
Relating to that, I don’t believe in getting stressed out either. Which is what I would become if I am too serious about anything. I believe we should be able to see the lighter side of everything, even something which people don’t see on occasion. But you should also be able to switch to a more serious mode if required, but having in mind the outcome (usually personally thought of) of the way you have approached the issue in the first place. Give it a try, you may be surprised to find that you could be that little bit more effective in the things that you do, usually on work-related stuff. And if that means I’m labeled as letting the boy in me show one time too many, well that’s just too bad. I’m doing just fine as it is.
When I am presented with an issue, I welcome discussion and brainstorming. I am also very willing to accept ideas and solutions from others if said ideas and solutions make sense to me. That having said, at the same time I consciously try to take myself out of the proverbial box to find a suitable solution to the issue I’m facing. You see, some people are gifted with the ability to look at a problem out of the box and present out of the box solutions. Not me. That’s why as I said I try to do it consciously.
The other thing I believe is getting the best out of people by building relationships. Call it my leadership/management philosophy if you will. People should never be made to perform out of fear. They may perform that way, but usually never voluntarily. Granted, you may get things done, but with a great degree of dissatisfaction. Inevitably, the level of performance will drop over time. And when it drops, it’s never easy to revive. Relationships should be based on mutual respect which in turn, brings about ownership and responsibility to one’s work. I believe that if a person is respectful, nice and understanding, you will go out of your way not to let him/her down. That is the approach I adopt with people, everywhere and in all capacities.
So far, it has worked for me. Although there is a caveat to the philosophy. You would need to deal with mature people in order for the philosophy to work. People who have a sense of responsibility towards their work. This type of people will perform wonders given the right approach. Although at the same time you should not hesitate to wield the proverbial rod once in a while. The gap and frequency of understanding and rod-wielding should be ideal in order to achieve a balance. I’m still perfecting the technique. And I believe there is no point of perfection. There would always be opportunities for improvement and tweaking the philosophy.
I don’t know, but all this jazz about being a boy (once in a while) and getting the best out of people by building relationships has gotten me to where I am. As such I think the technique has been proven. At the end of the day, two words encapsulate the whole thing. And it’s called “being yourself”.
It’s been ages since I’ve written. As I am not someone who attaches blame on other people, I’ll just blame myself for the cobwebs here. And I shall take the affirmative action to remedy that by well, write. I’d like to share something tonight in case you’ve not heard. I’ve written about losing my “pemandu berhemah” tag since moving to JB and making the weekly trip to KL and back. And I remember writing about my right foot making the uncanny transformation from flesh and blood to lead while I’m driving at night. You see, every time I drive back to KL from the office, I’ll take the Second Link highway to the North-South highway. I know there are speed cameras there during the daytime. So I’ll keep my speed down to the speed limit.
Two weeks ago I went back a little later than usual. It was already dark when I left. In keeping with the current trend, I sped the car’s a**e off. Lo and behold, there was a road block just before the North-South highway. I was flagged and asked to drive to the roadside (surprise, surprise). The policeman was very polite in telling me that I have been speeding. “Laju ni Encik, 146 (or something) ni.” I just couldn’t believe it. Isn’t it night time? I thought you guys only catch speed fiends like me in the day. “Oh, kamera kita sekarang ada flash Encik. So malam-malam pun boleh tembak (the affectionate term for identifying speed limit violators like yours truly) jugak”. Thank you for that little titbit of information. Which I totally wasn’t aware of for the longest time. To make matters worse, it’s not only along the Second Link, but along the North-South highway as well.
I feel like logging on to the MyEG portal to check on my outstanding summons. However I am frightened of doing so at the risk of discovering the worst. Which I think would be the most likely outcome. Can’t really say how I’ll fare in that department. Well, I’ve got no choice but to own up, have I?
I hope it’s not too late to wish everybody Happy New Year. At this time every year, you hear people forming new year’s resolutions all around. I’d like to be more punctual, I’d like to work harder, I’d like to earn more money etc., just to quote a few. Well, every man/woman to his/her own. Personally, I believe we should be on a continuous journey to improve ourselves, to work harder and smarter, earn more money etc. We don’t really need a special time of the year to form resolutions do we? This is akin to asking for forgiveness during Hari Raya. It’s the same concept. Never been too much of a believer in new year’s resolutions. I spent new year’s eve the other day working.
2012 to me is just like another year. Nothing too special, really. I’ll just continue doing what I do best. Which is work my socks off. And continue to look forward to better things in life and at work. Happy New Year everybody!
Best wishes for the new year! *image credit to Google
Today we just had the company’s Board of Directors’ meeting. After the meeting ended and I was in public view, I was inundated with the burning question at this time of the year. “Berapa bulan?”. No it’s not about pregnancy months, it’s about how many months’ bonus would the company be paying this year. I must admit we have done quite well this year compared to the last one. PBT has doubled (just about). Not many companies can claim that quite frankly. So it’s a magnificent achievement. Naturally the company will be handing out quite a generous bonus this year. And I’m happy for the guys who have worked hard. That being the case, bonus payments as usual would depend on the individual staff’s performance over the period of the financial year. As such it would still be subject to your performance appraisal.
Personally, I am not a fan of the performance appraisal system and the Bell curve. I wanted to do some research on this Bell curve thing. I guess it’s called the Bell curve because it looks like a Bell. And not named after Alexander Graham Bell (please disregard that one). A certain percentage of staff would score high and some low. And some extremely low. Nothing you can do about it. It’s just the way the Bell curve system works. In any case, I hope things work out well this year for everybody. I have a plan all set if I do get paid a good bonus this year. Involves a test drive. Can’t say too much as it’s rather premature at this juncture.
Moving on. I’ve written about this many moons ago. I’ve been monitoring (not stalking) this particular person’s Facebook postings for some time. I’m not a person who easily gets irritated by anything (don’t really know what other people think about this) but here’s the thing – this person is qualified to teach English. But you simply can’t tell from the way this person writes. Let’s get one thing clear. I am not expecting Shakespearean English here. Although you’d expect better English from somebody who is qualified to teach English for heaven’s sake. I am itching to quote an example here. But to do so would reveal the identity of the person (I think I may already have). So I apologise for the lack of example. They say when lawyers speak they are always backed by some sort of authority and almost always quotes examples. Can’t do that here.
Let me just say one thing (and I’ve said this before). I will not in a million years let my children be taught English by this person. No wonder the standard of English in schools is deteriorating beyond repair (to me at least). Honestly, if this is the standard of English teachers, who knows what kind of English will be spoken/written by CEOs or MDs twenty to thirty years from now? People pretty much know that I am near-obsessed with the correct usage of English. No shame in that for me. How else would you expect it to be? It’s important for self confidence and survival (almost).
I drink lots of Nescafe. In the morning and at night. If I go out for drinks with friends, I’ll have it too. Since I am a lazy person, I only have the 3 in 1 variety at home (if case you don’t know by now, I live alone on weekdays). However, I am seriously thinking going off the 3 in 1 at this time. You may think that it is because of what they say about pre-mixed drinks. That it’s bad for you. Processed sugar, that kind of thing. Apparently if you drink it often enough, you are going to fall sick. No, that’s not the reason. I’m thinking of going off Nescafe 3 in 1 because of a reason which you would never have thought of. Not too long ago, I left JB for a few days and went back to KL. Unknowingly, I forgot to clean the mug I usually have my Nescafe in. Went I came back, I had the shock of my life. There was a dead lizard in the mug! No prizes for guessing what I did to said mug. To make a long story short this happened again last week.
I wanted to take a photo of the mug (with the uninvited guest in it) and upload it here. Don’t have the fortitude though. The less said about it the better. I don’t know. I may lay off it or I may not.
I have work to finish tonight. Unfortunately for me, my mind is in a non-working mode. Which sucks big time. They say when your mind is tired, a fit body doesn’t matter (not that I have a fit body). Physically I feel fine but I find that my writing has gone off the rails, work wise anyway.
Tonight until the weekend, Nureen Sabrina is on a sleepover at my brother’s house. She has been looking forward to it for the last few weeks. I see no issues with her wanting to enjoy herself once in a while. What more with the school holidays. Days filled with school and tuition are bound to tax her. So some time away with her cousin will I hope, do her some good. The down side to that is Farah Batrisyia misses her sister. Spoke to her on the phone just now. She sounds really downbeat. I asked her if she misses her sister. She replied “yes” very slowly. I could sense that she was beginning to cry. Which is heart wrenching. I tried to comfort her the best I can. I just can’t see my children crying, especially for reasons like that.
I feel my eyes welling with tears. How can I make it better for her when I am so far away? God knows I love her and would do anything in my power to make her feel if only a little better. I know it is temporary and she will be her usual joyful, mischievous self tomorrow morning. You see, Farah sleeps with Nureen every night (well, almost every night) so when Nureen is not around it’s inevitable that she’ll miss her. As they say you’ll only appreciate somebody once he/she is gone. So I have this heavy feeling in my heart. I hope she sleeps early tonight so the feeling will go away.
Adik, always remember Abah loves you so much. The sky and the moon are yours if you wish so. Please stop crying sayang. Abah will fetch Kakak Nureen as soon as Abah is back from JB ya. Please do not cry as Abah is far away and would not be able to comfort you the way Abah wants to. Be strong Adik. I will see you soon.
The reason.
daily rants (well...almost) 