Along my blogging career (which admittedly is short. Probably not “a career” as such) you may heard that I learn a lot of things during my working life. Tonight I’d like to share another one. I think you should know that how big you think you are, there’s always somebody bigger. No, not in the size department. It’s at work. There’s always a bigger fish, isn’t it? If you’re a CEO, you report to the Board of Directors. If you’re in the Board of Directors, you report to the shareholders. OK, the aforementioned examples are rather high level ones. Let’s just play at the realistic level. You are a manager and you report to your superior, whoever he/she may be.
My point is, when you’re a subordinate, your work is assessed and judged by your superior. Whatever your work may be. As for me, my work consists of drafting and of course, management amongst others. To talk about judging somebody’s management performance is also quite high level. So let’s look at the simple one i.e. drafting. I draft a lot of documents. Agreements, letters, specific covenants, awards that kind of thing. And the quality is subject to continuous scrutiny, which is not a problem to me. Anyway, there are times when you bring your work to your superior, who checks it out. Along the way he/she will make observations and corrections. And I believe there are times when you think, “hey, what I did was perfectly fine. Why the need to correct/amend/add?”. I do get that as well.
The thing is, it’s always about personal style and preference isn’t it? What you think is fine may not be so to your boss. You can feel good about what you’ve done and later get mercilessly shot down. At times it becomes a source of great frustration. There are also times when you make changes after changes. And it still gets shot down. When you’re a subordinate, it’s always, “oh, he’s not so good at what he does”. When you’re the boss, it always, “he’s like that. You’ve got to play his game/dance to his tune”, or something like that. This is not a rant. Doesn’t really happen to me regularly but just an observation. I think I do that to my subordinates as well.
The other thing is, do you notice that when you’re the boss, you are suddenly able to come up with things that will bewilder your subordinates? I honestly believe that when you’re a superior, it comes pretty much naturally. You know that time when you’re in a meeting with your superior and he says something that makes you go, “why didn’t I think of that?” or, “I think he’s making a good point”, or something like that. For those of you who are climbing the ladder, believe me it’s true. When you are given the chance to lead, you suddenly find yourself thinking more creatively and with a better perspective. Can’t explain it. So if you do look up to somebody because of the way he/she conducts him/herself and the way they think and say things, do not have a tinge of worry. When you reach that level, it’s natural.
Moving swiftly on. I like Star Wars. Of course as a kid, all the swashbuckling Jedi stuff enthralls me. Never heard any sound like the light saber before. And to come up with such technology in the 70’s is pretty cool. In the first trilogy you have Luke, Han Solo, Lando etc. Then because the series made a lot of money, George Lucas decided to make another 3 movies, the prequels. Then you have Anakin, Obi-Wan (the younger one, played really well by Ewan McGregor), Qui-Gon Jinn and a few others. However, my favourite of them all is Darth Vader. There are a few reasons why. Here’s a guy who’s an epitome of the modern man. He’s very emotional, but at the same time ruthless like nobody’s business. You see him display his deep emotions towards Padme. He loves her so much that he’d rather go to the Dark Side in order to save her from dying during childbirth (although he didn’t get to save her anyway). The emotional side is also evident during his final showdown with Luke and the Emperor. Hey, girls like emotional guys, right?
And the ruthless side. The guy doesn’t ever hesitate, does he? He’ll kill you with his powerful Dark Side-acquired mental “weapon”. Cross him and that’s the end of you. Too many times in life I pause for too long, taking too much time to think before acting. That’s precisely why I envy Vader. You cross me, I kill you. I want to blow up Alderaan (Princess Leia’s home planet), I go for it, no second thoughts. I want to kill Count Dooku, I do it. No second thoughts there either. Life would be much simpler. Unlike now. I want to buy something, a whole bloody thought process goes into it. Will I need it in the long term? Will it be useful? Dang. I want to take a major step (which unlike Vader, doesn’t involve depriving anybody of their supply of air), another whole long thought process is done. (Disclaimer: I’m suspending reality a fair bit here).
If only it was that simple. Oh, before I forget, I have a Darth Vader mug.
Luke, seriously. I am your father.
Waking up to watch football matches was never my thing. As far as I can remember, I only woke up (or stayed up) for matches during really important games. Champions’ League final, that sort of thing. However, last night I felt like watching Manchester United v. Tottenham Hotspur. I was primed, already getting ready to sleep at 12.30 am, somewhat of a rarity for me. Usually sleep time is at 2 am, an ungodly hour for some.
So I woke up at 2.45 am and the game just started. United were up and running. Which was uncharacteristic of them. They are perennial slow starters. The first few games would usually end in draws and one or two losses. But to see them flying so early on was great. And doing it with Cleverley, Wellbeck and Anderson who was on the periphery of the first team for a long time. As for Cleverley and Wellbeck, it was evident that their loan spells have done them a world of good. The passing and movement was brilliant. At the same time doing all this with Evans, Jones, Evra and Smalling as the back four. Tackles were flying in, the players showed a lot of courage, determination and hunger. Which was heartening to see. To top it all off, it appears that the squad for yesterday’s game was the second youngest ever squad ever fielded by Sir Alex in the Premier League.
I was particularly impressed with de Gea. Of course the jury is still out where his handling of crosses is concerned, but to see his composure when on the ball (and under pressure) was good. His distribution was top drawer. So that’s a big plus for United. To be honest United facing Spurs was not a game I’d particularly look forward to. To me Spurs have depth in abundance and I was particularly wary of van der Vaart who to me apart from Hernandez was a clear candidate for the buy of the season last season and Spurs’ gain was United’s loss then. But in hindsight, the fact that he was such an injury prone player softened the blow a little bit.
But in the second half last night United was clinical in their finishing. Wellbeck’s backheel for Anderson to finish was simply delightful. The young players are really coming of age. Hopefully this is the beginning of a new period of dominance for United (not that they were not dominant before).
Enough of football. Today I came back to a house devoid of electricity supply. Which got me worried. What with the long holidays around the corner. To say that I am well versed with electrical circuits would be the joke of the year. Maybe of all time. So in my own ignorant way, I repeatedly turned the main switch back on. And the bloody thing kept on tripping. So I had to summon all my DIY skills (which admittedly, was nowhere near enough) and searched for the cause of the problem. I managed to (I think) isolate the problem to one of the sockets near the TV. Which presented a totally new issue. I simply cannot do without the TV.
Luckily I am in possession of many extension cords. So my source of entertainment was restored. In any case, I’ve got find help tomorrow. The circuit simply cannot trip while I’m in KL. Who knows, it may just turn into a huge fireball and engulf the house. And I cannot turn the power off before going back for my holidays. With the fridge off, the ice cream will melt. A ridiculous trade off, but I know the value of ice cream. So because of that, I simply must call a technician tomorrow.
Just came back from having my sahur at the nearby mamak restaurant. Just don’t trust myself waking up at 5 am later. Not when I’m this knackered. Earlier on, I managed to get up at about 4 am or thereabouts. The problem then was that I find myself not being able to sleep until 6 am. Which resulted in me being a zombie at work. When you need to read a lot of documents at work (and doing a lot of thinking in the process) being a zombie at work is bad news. Wouldn’t want the quality of work to suffer. So nowadays I just have something before I retire and try to have a good night’s sleep. Which isn’t easy when you’re alone in a semi-detached house. Owing to my previous edgy experience, I’ll wake up at the hint of any sound. Which disturbs your daily sojourn in a rather rude way.
Anyway, as I was making my way out of the house, I saw my riding jacket slumped on my bag and immediately felt a tinge of sadness. My attention immediately turned to my bike, peacefully parked in the living room (the fact of which contributed to my lack of riding time). And I thought of the last time I rode which was on the second day of Ramadhan, about two weeks ago. I’ve been trying my best to ride to work ever since but a combination of factors (all merited) prevented me from doing so. To be perfectly honest, I really miss riding. The exhilaration of pulling on the throttle is incomparable. Speed just liberates you in a way which you never knew possible.
Back then when I just bought my Ducati, I was scared. They say a Ducati is never a good bike for a first time superbiker but I persevered and learned to tame the beast. The road was filled with challenges. Dropped the bike on the first day. But to hear the howl of the two-cylinder engine and the unmistakable sound of the dry clutch brought me to a totally different level. That was when I realised that biking was the thing for me. I then started to ride on a daily basis to my office which was located in Subang Jaya then. I covered a distance of about 90 kilometres daily. Riding has become an obsession. I’ll ride to work every single day and still feel the need to ride on weekends. I was truly addicted. I ended up riding to work for 2 years, getting unbridled joy in the process. So when I barely get to ride nowadays, the feeling of being a little bit down at times is probably understandable.
From now on I will try to ride once a week at least. The trusty Ducati has been traded in for a Kawasaki Z1000SX (haven’t really decided whether it was the correct decision. I do hope she’ll get a good owner who’ll love her as much as I did. I still do). I think my target of riding at least once a week is achievable. They say aim low. Anything more would be a bonus. But I need to do something first. I really have to replace the Kawasaki’s exhaust pipes which to be honest, sounds too tame for my liking. The exhilaration of hearing the sound of a bike engine revving is out of this world. Sure it doesn’t hold a candle to a two-cylinder plus dry clutch sound, but it’ll do. But as the Kawasaki has a twin exhaust (one on each side) that necessarily means double the cost. However it needs to be done for me to sustain my interest. Looking forward to it. Please do not worry dear Alpinestars jacket. You’ll be on the saddle soon enough!
Today my blog reached a thousand hits. Which in my honest view is something to be proud of. Before I get accused of tooting my own horn, there are a few things I’d like to say. Firstly, I am supremely convinced that I write very drab, boring stuff. Once I start to write I just cannot stop. You know, that time when you have a particular idea in your head and the thought just flows. I’m not saying I’m the most creative of people. In fact I know I’m not. There are times when I get a stonking mental block nothing actually moves. You know the saying that all men only think about women and sports and nothing else? For me, that’s called The Block. Your thoughts keep going on round and round and doesn’t translate into anything useful at all. When that happens (which thank God is not often) I know I’m screwed.
Back to the one thousand hits. I achieved it within a period of 3, almost 4 months. Not bad for somebody who writes total nonsense at times. If you enjoy reading the stuff I write about, good for you. I’m under no illusions that a thousand hits doesn’t ever mean that a thousand people read what I write. It simply means the site has been accessed one thousand times. For all you know, only 3 people ever access this blog. For a thousand times. Those guys would be on the brink of obsession, wouldn’t they? I read somewhere that Tun Dr. Mahathir’s blog got a million hits after about 2 months or so. Must be something of a record. Just imagine writing something (although he hardly writes nonsense, unlike me) and people are literally on tenterhooks waiting for what’s coming up next. Must be a nice feeling.
The other thing is, all this excitement about a thousand hits again just emphasises the vanity bit isn’t it? Everybody likes to have an audience (or is it just me?). An audience who listens (or in the case of a blog, reads) to your every word. Some people may get inspired, some may just think it’s a load of crap. The desire to start blogging started as a measure of escapism. After work, I go home and I’m alone. There’s only so much you can do when you’re alone. And believe me, I’ve done most of them. So to beat the boredom, I started to write. And now, after some 40-plus entries, I’m still writing. I hope I can maintain the momentum. I’d like to one day be able to show my children the stuff I write about. So they’ll be able to know their dad better. People say your writing defines who you really are. In my case, I think so too. It underlines the bland, uninteresting and complicated person that I am. A person who thinks he is a simple man but in fact is a complicated dude. Anyway, if you’ve enjoyed my writing so far, keep going. There’s more where that came from.
Next week I’ll be meeting my new boss. It’s definitely a new experience. When you’re meeting a new superior, the thing you think most about is how to make a good first impression. You dress well, you try to talk well, be prepared and present yourself to the best of your ability. As is always when you meet someone new, there will inevitably be a period of sizing each other up. Analysing each other’s strength and weaknesses. Exploring the extent of one’s mental fortitude. To me, in a workplace it’s always a battle of character. If you can get along fine, that’s OK. But if you can’t, trouble usually ensues. But as a subordinate, you will inevitably get the short end of the stick. Which I hope doesn’t happen to me.
I learnt and memorised one important line I heard Q say in Die Another Day (if I’m not mistaken). It goes like this:-
“It’s better to be cleverer than you look than looking cleverer than you really are“.
I’ve held on to this saying like Gollum holds on to the ring. Because of that I’ve also doubted myself on more than one occasion. Do I present myself as being a clever person? And if I do, did I live up to expectations resulting from me presenting myself that way? Doubt is not a good thing I tell you. Literally throws you off your game.
Here’s the thing – I hope my new superior comes in with an open mind. He would probably have heard some stories. There’s nothing worse than being prejudicial. Which I don’t think would be a problem. I guess having some luck would be good. Sometimes the line between getting along and being at loggerheads is very fine. Personality clashes is a big no-no. Well, I hope everything turns out fine and dandy, InsyaAllah.
Today is one of those days. A day like this very seldom rears its head, but when it does, it brings you crashing down. On days like this, you desperately need a good pick-me-up. That’s the problem with me. When I crash, I crash badly. Please make it go away.
The first day of Ramadhan fell on a Monday. As a direct result of that, this year’s Ramadhan month will feel shorter somewhat. Why? Because you finish one week after another. Before you know it, Aidilfitri will be around the corner. On the weekend before Ramadhan I received some good news. Apparently the first day of Ramadhan is a public holiday in Johor. So I got a day off on Monday 1st August. However, I have to make the trip back to JB on that day. The thing is, I have this strict policy of not starting my journey after iftar. I don’t know about you, but after iftar for some reason I’ll be knackered beyond belief. I’ll feel the uncontrollable urge to close my eyes and drift into deep sleep.
So, against my need to have my iftar at Mak’s, I set off for JB at 5.30 pm that day. Which I later regretted. Little did I realise that I missed a nugget of interesting information. Which was the atrocious state of traffic on the first day of Ramadhan. You see, I have experiences of really bad traffic on the first day of fasting. Back in 2006, I took 2 hours for the short journey from Jalan Raja Chulan to Wisma Central on Jalan Ampang. Unfortunately my memory failed me and I confidently started my journey. Bad move. From my house in Gombak to the Sungai Besi toll plaza took me an hour plus. So I had the feeling of being knackered even before iftar.
Seriously, people have this urge to go back home for iftar on the first day of fasting. And the mushrooming of params didn’t help either. In case you’re wondering what a param is, read all about it here. Don’t get me wrong, I’m all for people being able to earn some extra dosh during Ramadhan. But it’s all at the expense of commuters. So I ended up arriving in JB close to 11 pm. Note to self: please remember not to leave KL before iftar on the first day of Ramadhan. The tiredness which ensues is just not worth it.
Moving swiftly on, have you heard of this guy by the name of Dez Corkhill? Dez is currently the Managing Editor of Astro Arena, the Astro channel covering local sports. He commentates on local football matches and is super passionate about Malaysian football. I have nothing but admiration for this guy. I heard his commentary during the recent Malaysia v. Singapore World Cup qualifying match. I can safely say he was biased on the day. Biased towards the Malaysian team that is. He knows all the Malaysian players’ names by heart (I think). And the thing about Dez is, he puts us all as Malaysians to shame with his knowledge of Malaysian football.
Let me give you an example. Whenever I have the time, I’ll watch this football chat show called “Bola @ Mamak” on Astro Supersport. In the show, 5 guys (including my man Dez) will talk about football, local and foreign. In this particular episode two football pundit wannabees, Ross Yusof and the Orange Man (God knows what’s his real name) were on a tireless crusade against the Malaysian football team and Malaysian football generally. They were saying things about how crappy Malaysian football is. And this is after Malaysia won the AFF Suzuki Cup. To be perfectly honest (and I don’t care if they’re reading this although I doubt there are) I don’t think these two fellas have an inkling of what they’re talking about. I think their puny little minds have been thoroughly brainwashed by watching (or being obsessed) with Manchester United, Liverpool, Chelsea and what have you.
Their total ignorance of the local game was thoroughly exposed by Dez (who I could see was getting clearly upset with all the hate being displayed). Like a true blue Malaysian fan (remember, we’re talking about a Caucasian guy here) he threw a challenge to the two twits, asking them to name 5 Malaysian football players there and then. To which of course they failed miserably. And you call yourself a football fan? They tried to BS their way out of trouble, perhaps realising the losers that they are. They went on about how the local stadiums are devoid of supporters, which was met with a swift rebuke from Dez who said they should go to the stadiums in the East Coast which are filled to the rafters on game day, every single week.
There you go. You pretend like you know everything and yet pathetically emphasising the fact that you actually know next to nothing. From now on, a Caucasian guy shall be my ultimate authority on all things concerning Malaysian football. Sounds weird, doesn’t it? Sad, but that’s the absolute truth.
In life, we deal with expectations all the time. Everybody seems to expect something from everybody else. Your boss expects you to deliver good quality work, your family expects you to provide for them and so on. So one question remains, do you sometimes feel just a little pressured by all the expectations heaped on you? Well, I’ve got a few thoughts on this. Firstly, have you been performing all your life? You were the top student, you are the diligent worker, you’re the good son/daughter, husband/wife and so on. Now with that kind of pedigree, high expectation is inevitable isn’t it?
If you belong to the above category, failure is just not an option. People around you would not tolerate anything but the best from you. Once there is even a hint of non-performance (not failure OK), expect criticism to flow. And the thing is, not all is justified. Especially if you’re in a position that demands performance without bounds. Honestly, I feel I am in that situation right now. I am where you would call a cauldron of pressure. At times it just gets to me. You know what I’d like to do when I’m burdened by the weight of pressure? I feel like riding my bike to a beach somewhere and spending a good few days alone doing whatever I feel like doing. That would just be magnificent. So far I’ve not been able to do that. One of these days I might just start my journey.
OK, secondly you are under self imposed pressure. You feel you just need to perform all the time although people around you would happily give you time to grow. There’s both good and bad in that. Good when you continually set high standards for yourself and you don’t compromise on quality. Bad when you find that you simply cannot match your own standards. You are engulfed in the flames of your own making and may end up self destructing. That’s really bad. As for me, I get super pissed when I cannot raise my game to my own satisfaction. The bad thing about that is I my blood pressure just rises. Literally.
When you have hypertension running through your family, getting over stressed is bad news. I have always felt that I could manage my own stress levels. Last week I realised that I am getting these stress headaches with a higher rate of regularity. I had it everyday for 4 days. Fortunately I have this blood pressure monitor which I use to measure my pressure level. The readings have been rather encouraging. So far no worries. But I really need to manage my stress level. The other thing is I’m beginning to have trouble sleeping. Which is probably worse than having hypertension. Last night I couldn’t sleep until about 4 am (which explains the double blog posting). A good friend from Facebook has recommended a herbal solution to my problem which I would be trying really soon. I hope it works.
Well, enough of my medical condition. Sometimes I wonder if anybody at all is interested in all the rather unnecessary information. Anyway, today I came across this website which is called www.paramkl.com.my. Which just sounds wrong. According to the explanatory note, it is a website where, “Kalau nak tau kat mana nak cari makanan yang best, Mak kata “go to paramkl.com.my” — A community project to gather information on good food stalls at Pasar Ramadhans. Anyone & everyone is encouraged to contribute & share the good things that they’ve tasted at their favorite PARAMs.”
Can anybody please tell me why it is not wrong to abbreviate the Pasar Ramadhan as “Param”? Again, it’s just wrong man. I have always known Param as the comedian who was in his element in the 80s. And sadly he passed passed away on 14 August 2009, aged 55. Abbreviating Pasar Ramadhan as “Param” is really not a good way to honour the late Param’s memory, don’t you think? Probably the guy behind the paramkl.com.my project is a guy in his twenties who’ve never heard of Param the comedian before. If he/she has not, I suggest somebody enlighten him/her. What is wrong with having the domain name “pasarramadhankl.com.my”? I honestly don’t see any issues with it.
Here’s to honouring the late Param’s legacy.
The late Param...thanks for the memories
I guess its not too late to wish everybody who takes the trouble to read this blog Selamat Berpuasa. Today is the eighth day of fasting. And its the first time I am performing my obligatory fasting duties away from home. Saying that it’s different is a no-brainer. Not too bothered about breaking fast on my own though. I take it just like having my dinner previous to the fasting month, just a little earlier than usual.
I went to the local Ramadhan bazaar twice last week. The thing about Ramadhan bazaars everywhere (well, I’ve only been to two, in Johor near my house and in KL) parking is a total nuisance. I went once by bike, and once in my car. Going to the local Ramadhan bazaar exposes the disadvantage of riding a superbike. Sure you get to park really close to the bazaar, but getting your bike in the right position to park is a nightmare. And the fact that my bike weighs 250 kilogrammes doesn’t help matters. So, when I drove there I expected further hardship. Which is my I resigned myself to parking a fair distance from the bazaar and took a leisurely walk there which was a good 200 metres away.
As far as the fare, I’ve got no complaints. It’s pretty much the same wherever you go. Just take your pick. Although I am very aware that what you see as appetizing during your visit to the bazaar may be totally deceiving. When you’re there, everything appeals to you. And you end up buying stuff you don’t really need and at the same time spending a small fortune while you’re at it. Being aware of this fact, I was very careful and bought only what I really wanted. Which was difficult. When you don’t get to eat any nasi campur for dinner, the sight of all the lauk they had at the bazaar could be really tempting. You feel like really going for it. Which fortunately I didn’t.
Sahur as always is nearly a non-event. After getting up (which gets increasingly difficult by the day) I just plump for whatever I have around. For now I have some buns in the fridge which becomes my daily sahur fare. Although I’d very much like to have a microwave to at least heat the bun. Eating a cold, hard bun is not something anybody enjoys I think. But as always I have got to make this work. In the coming days I might just start the car and go out for my sahur meal if I ever find the energy to do so.
All in all this year’s Ramadhan seems to be going by quite quickly. The first week is over. Before you know it, everybody will be leaving for Aidilfitri. I hope everybody enjoys the rest of Ramadhan.
OK, last thought. I’m watching Ibu Mertuaku on Astro Prima at the moment. You remember that scene where Kasim’s mother in law takes him to what was supposed to be his “late” wife, Sabariah’s grave? He reaches the grave and starts to weep uncontrollably, which is understandable. Then a guy comes over and asks Kasim why is he crying at his mother’s grave after which Kasim starts this rant at the mother in law (which produced the now legendary “ala Kasim” line). My question is, when he reaches the grave, why didn’t he read the inscription on the head stone (“batu nisan”)? If he had done so, he would’ve immediately known that it was not Sabariah’s grave, would he? I guess that’s just one of the things you “let go” in a movie isn’t it? To go into such detail would just destroy the dramatization of it all.
The other thing about P. Ramlee movies, do you notice how he has these hidden messages about life (done on purpose or not, I don’t know)? I guess there are many examples but I can only recall one now. Last night I watched Ali Baba Bujang Lapok. The particular bit that caught my attention was when the thieves’ Sergeant (played by the late Ibrahim Pendek) conned many people by getting them to bet on a numbers game which involved a dice. The catch was that the dice only had the number 2 on it. So everybody started to place their bets on numbers from 1 to 6. Interestingly, the Sergeant did not allow anybody to bet on the number 2 (and everybody fell for it). Of course everybody fell for it and nobody ended up winning anything.
It just goes to show people’s gullibility isn’t it? Malays in general are suckers for fast money. Anything which promises good return (in the shortest amount of time, if possible with the least amount of effort) are Malay magnets, isn’t it? Jual tanah sana, jual tanah sini. Ambik komisyen sana, ambik persen sini (don’t get me wrong, some people really make it big this way. Although most times it ends in tears). Doesn’t it just makes you wonder? My take on it is this: anything which sounds to good to be true is usually just that. There’s always a catch there, somewhere. That’s why many Malays fall for the trappings of MLM schemes. And that’s what they exactly are, schemes. There are simply no shortcuts. Hoping that one day money and unbound riches would inexplicably fall from the sky is a pipe dream that would never ever come true. Unless you have a multimillionaire uncle who’s just died and left you said money and unbound riches. Which I still hope for until now.
Half of this post is delayed by a week:-
I am in KLIA at the moment, waiting for my flight back to JB. Flew to KL this morning at 8.50. Tonight’s flight has just been delayed from 9.15 to 9.40. OK, that’s not an interesting bit of information.
The last time I flew was probably a year ago. And what a difference a year makes in terms of taking a plane ride! This morning I boarded the plane for my flight to KL feeling indifferent about the ride. I’ve obviously been on a plane many times before, so how different could it be? I have never been so wrong in my life. As soon as the plane took off, my head was spinning. When it made a turn, I felt like the turn will never stop and the plane would somehow be belly up. I tried to close my eyes and take a nap. That didn’t work either. It was the longest 45 minutes of my life.
To be honest I cannot point to the cause of the problem. I drank a cup of coffee before the flight (without eating anything). That could’ve been the reason. I slept at 1.30 am the night before. That too, could’ve been the cause. In any case, I just closed my eyes and frantically hope that the flight would be over as soon as possible. Which obviously was the case eventually. After disembarking, I felt sick to my stomach. Luckily I didn’t barf anything out.
During the two meetings I attended, I wasn’t in the best of moods. Suffice to say my contribution was infinitesimal. Having my flight back to JB delayed didn’t help matters. The thing is, I used to travel quite a bit last time. I was no alien to flying. But probably flying for the first time after a few years has its side effects. Well, it’s probably time to rack up the miles and get further accustomed to flying (again).
I try to minimise going back to KL during weekdays. If possible, I’d just like to limit it to the weekend traveling only. But sometimes work demands attention at the other side of the Peninsula too. This just confirms that most of the action happens on the other side. So whenever I’m needed there, I’ll have to be available, irrespective of the time and physical constraints. They say your life comes first and work second. Well, I think those are words of idealists, maybe ultra idealists. As far as I am concerned, work comes first. Why you ask? Firstly, in order to have a good life, you must be good at your work (and reasonably high up the ladder too). Secondly, when you are up there in your work, a good life follows naturally.
I’m 37 this year and while I was at my former workplace, I sometimes complaint of being in my comfort zone. Somebody whom I have the utmost respect for asked me why am I in my bloody comfort zone at 37? This is the period in one’s life where one has to slog no end and strive towards excellence and the good life referred to above. So at this moment in time I have to place work ahead of life. Sad and some may say pathetic, but that’s just how it is. In work, things may not go your way. There will be complaints. Missed deadlines, your boss doesn’t appreciate you, other people carry balls, that kind of thing. What I can do is do my part and do it well and keep my mind off the aforementioned concerns.
That’s why following the trivial concerns mentioned above, my motto now is shit happens, and there’s nothing (well, almost nothing) I can do about it but bite the bullet and carry on. Thinking too much about it would only be detrimental to the larger scheme of things, performance wise.
I am not a sportsman. I do play some sports but never near any level of competitive proficiency. I do like sports. I am a fan of Manchester United Football Club, a passionate one. Ask me to play football, I’ll stink to high heaven. I was told my uncles were athletes who represented Negeri Sembilan in football, which is no mean feat. Even Abah represented VI in rugby and hockey back in the 50s. My point is I do have the sportsman’s gene in my blood, but for some reason it decided to go into hiding and takes a recessive role instead of a dominant one (biology, anyone?).
I was told that in order to stay healthy, you need to at least participate in some physical activity. Well, I’m not a gym person, honestly I don’t see the point in exercising on my own. But that’s just me. So in the quest of achieving some sort of impression of health, I played sports. To me, at least it’s more fun than running on a treadmill (of which I gave a shot at). So I played badminton, tennis and table tennis. Which I became quite good at. Not really good, but just enough to save me the embarrassment of looking like a complete idiot.
So a few weeks ago I was selected by my company to participate in a bowling tournament hosted by the local port authority. I was to play in the VIP trio, no less. Bowling was never on my radar at all. In fact I hated it. I don’t hate it as a sport per se, I just hate it because I have a feeling that I may not be very good at it. They say you should approach everything with an open mind. To that I unequivocally agree. However, if you know that you are going to suck at something, the best thing to do is stay away, isn’t it? Which I did not do when I was selected in the bowling team. OK. General principle. I am a very competitive person by nature. I will not (if at all possible) let anybody get ahead of me in most aspects. Having said that, my competitiveness doesn’t carry on to sports. Which I cannot explain why.
When I play any sport, I am contented with the workout. I do not really care if I lose. No long faces. Usually it’s all taken in good fun (probably I’m being defensive. There’s a reason to all these statements, which you’ll know soon enough). Back to the bowling tournament. I was given notice of the tournament a full three weeks before the event (which was last night). I didn’t take take the trouble to practice. I’ll tell you why. I have never played bowling before. In all my 37 years. I know it’s quite popular apparently. My stand has always been if I don’t like it, I have a choice. Which was true until I was notified of said bowling tournament. You know, being in a new company there’s always going to be that subtle pressure for the newbie to be obliged. Which I totally understand and have no complaints about.
So I went for my maiden bowling session (is the word “maiden” suitable in this context?) last Monday. My scores were pretty bad. Really bad actually. Beginner’s slack doesn’t last forever you know. It’s never good to say on tournament day that, “I just picked up bowling two days ago”. Do you honestly think people would care? Although it would be a good excuse if you do really bad. In which case I did. Do really bad I mean. I’ll leave that for later.
I wasn’t ready and I knew it. I was in a team comprising of myself and the top two people in my company. Talk about pressure. The team beside our lane was literally blazing the lanes, scoring good marks err sorry, pin falls. And I discovered my teammates are good bowlers too. I realised I have got to simply bite the bullet and go for it. And try to have a good laugh while I’m at it. As predicted, my scores were below average. At one point, I knew people were just being polite (if you know what I mean).
Then the unthinkable happened. You see, in the third game (there were four in all) the Chairman of the company arrived and naturally, spent quite a bit of time at the VIP lane, where I was. It was my turn to blaze the lane. While the Chairman was there, I posted a score of 169 for the third game. Which was to be honest, pure and utter nonsense. Going from a score of 69 and 82 for the first two games (if I’m not mistaken. I didn’t record my scores, especially the shitty ones) to 169 in the third was mind boggling. To add to the tale, not even the guys in the next lane managed to better that during all four games. After the third game, the Chairman left. You guessed it. I scored another sub 100 in the fourth game.
I am totally convinced there was something supernatural about all this. How can the presence of one person be the catalyst to a good bowling game? I’m not going to even attempt to explain it. A good game is a good game, no? It came as no surprise that my company came dead last amongst the four organisations which took part in the tournament. The icing on the cake was I received the gutter award for the lowest score (in four games). I was given a nice hamper for my efforts (or non-effort?). To be perfectly honest, I totally dispute the award as I think I did OK although that could be the ego talking. Everything was taken in good humour though. Although I have a funny feeling that in future bowling tournaments, participants from my company would always be reminded not to do a “Shahrin” in reference to my award.
As for my future, I can clearly see that bowling is not included anywhere therein. I may give it one more chance, but at this juncture it is a super fat one. Well, at least I won something, kan?
daily rants (well...almost) 